Let’s talk about why believing that finding your soul mate will complete you is a lie. We all have beliefs that limit our awareness and, therefore, what we can create and experience. People who are in the direct flow of Divine have very few opinions about what is good or bad for them. They, therefore, have few limitations to what they can co-create and experience. Of course, most of us live somewhere in between. Let’s continue talking about the lies we often believe. When you use these lies as your automatic support, you limit who you think you are, what you think you can do, and what you think you can have. As these bindings loosen, you will be aware that there is so much more you can create.
Let’s face it. If you are waiting to find your soul mate, you can’t experience the people around you fully. What if the one you are with could co-create rich, rewarding, and joyful experiences with you? Wouldn’t that be better than finding fault with him or her because he/she is not the One? What if you never find your soul mate? Does that mean you are defective, will never be complete, or will always feel alone? I want to share with you an example of how exaggerated someone’s belief system about relationships and love can be, because of familial, educational, and cultural programming.
The Psychic Hotline Experience
In my last post, If You Want to Thrive, Don’t Listen to Lies, I promised that I would talk about the saddest phone call I ever did on the Psychic Hotline. Psychic hotlines still exist, but I’m talking about in the early 1990’s when people spent hundreds of dollars to purchase predictions about whether their dreams would come true or not. Remember Miss Cleo? To tell you the truth, I didn’t much like being on the hotline (and, no, I did not work for Miss Cleo!). The “readers” were tasked with getting customers to continue to stay on the call so that they would pay for more minutes. When I get a “psychic hit” for someone and I’ve done all the counseling or coaching they need at the moment, my non-physical connection is silent. To me, anything after that is just my opinion about the information I’ve already transmitted.
Do He Love Me?
Now to the specific call. A young lady phoned in to the Hotline with this question:
My husband is in jail. My baby daddy is living with Rhonda. I went to the bar last night and got it on with a really hot guy. Do he love me? I talked to another psychic about this, and she said, “No.” So, I want to know from you, “Do he love me?”
I was speechless there for a moment because the “me” who is not the trans-channel couldn’t quite figure out which “he” the young lady meant — the husband, the baby daddy, or the sex partner. Too, I felt personally sad that she was looking for love in all the wrong places because her friends, family, and our culture had given her a very skewed idea about relationships, sex, and love. Then, I took a deep breath, stepped back in my energy field, and allowed Non-Physical Wisdom to help her untangle this wiring in a way where she could hear the advice.
The Only Soul Mate that Will Ever Satisfy You Is You!
In this example, none of the men loved that young lady, because she did not love herself. Until she had some self-awareness and self-love, her relationships would continue to be a revolving door of unsatisfactory sexual relationships.
What I’ve found after counseling and coaching people for over 30 years is that if you are unhappy with you, no one else will complete you. So, the relationship you need to work on is the one you have with you. When you are self-aware, authentic, and connected to your Higher Power through your personal truth, then you already feel fulfilled and a sense of belonging. From that place, you can enjoy relationships for the purpose for which they are intended – they reflect more of “you” back to you.
Where Do I Start?
I’ve literally spent decades uncovering my personal authenticity one piece at a time. So, I know it’s a lifetime work in progress. But, I personally recommend the process because it has allowed me to be, do, and have more. Self-reflection can do the same for you, too.
There are many systems that help someone recover their personal authenticity. To me, the easiest way to start is asking yourself questions like:
- Do I really believe this?
- Have I heard these words before?
- Who said this before?
- Does continuing in this pattern serve me better than trying something else?
- Am I genuinely happy doing this?
- Does this make me smile or frown?
Examples from My Own Life
Let me give you two examples from my life that aren’t particularly emotionally charged to illustrate what I mean. I always did laundry on Monday, whether it fit into my schedule or not, because Monday was”laundry day.” Then, I got busy and found that Monday nights just didn’t work because I taught classes then. So, I experimented with other days and finally decided to do laundry when it worked for me. This felt off a bit, so I asked myself how doing laundry some other time was off center for me. It turned out that I did laundry on Mondays because that was what my Mom did. So, Monday laundry day was my Mom’s habit, not mine. Once I had identified this, I felt much more free to do laundry when I had the time.
Another good example is that I always thought purple was my favorite color (I do love all shades of purple to this day.). But, when I explored if, in fact, purple was my favorite color during an authenticity exercise, I found out that turquoise/teal actually is my favorite. When I thought about it, I realized that purple was my Dad’s favorite color. As a kid, I always said, “I want to be just like him.” So, believing purple to be my favorite color was my way of claiming similarity with him. Now, I enjoy both colors, sometimes even together.
Journal Your Victories
So, you can start small. Question little things that have no or a small emotional charge. I highly suggest you keep a diary of your discoveries. It really helps to review your journal so that you can see how far you’ve come in building authenticity. Just remember. The more authentic you are, the more your relationship with yourself improves. The more your relationship with self improves, the more open you are to the rich tapestry of relationships out there waiting for you.