When Did We Become a Society that Values Marketability over Authenticity?

One of my favorite authors lost her husband last year which initiated a branch in her life journey into uncharted territory. During this change, much of her support system disappeared rather inelegantly. So, here she is a very sensitive empath with connections to the Great Triple Goddess, in a career that should be extremely spiritual but in actuality is heavily dominated by analytical men. She gets overwhelmed emotionally, and I understand that all too well. So, I’d like to share some thoughts about this today.

Marketability over Authenticity

Marketability

When this dear lady shared her experience, I felt sad but not surprised. We have become a society where people are products to market, and as a culture we don’t value authenticity or genuine emotional expression. If I had a dollar for every time someone “spiritual” said, “You are a healer. Your body should be in perfect condition.”, I’d be a multi-millionaire. The same with concepts like prosperous people don’t feel frustration; prosperous people only say positive things; prosperous people smile all the time. What a load of @##$%. The wealthiest person I have met so far, when I lived in Manchester, England, had the consciousness of a slug, and that’s insulting the slug. This guy was cruel, judgmental, critical, greedy, and everyone disliked his treatment of people  including his partner and the judges who heard his cases. He never lost a trial. He married into more wealth and treated his lovely wife like a servant. Yeah, that’s positive thinking and emotions breeding wealth.

Somehow we have absorbed conditioning that says valuable people should look good, smell good, dress well, wear makeup, never age, smile all the time, say positive things, never make judgments, never have fear, never feel grief. So, what we want are mannequins with smiles plastered all over their faces. That we can market – “You, too, can be a mannequin like Barbie…and this will bring you wealth and happiness beyond belief.” If this is true, then why do we have so many broke, good looking people who say just the right thing but drink or drug away their sorrow so you aren’t uncomfortable by them expressing true emotion?

Authenticity

Folks, here’s a news flash – humans were designed for a broad and deep range of experiences. Not everyone’s experience is going to be pretty. People who experience loss, experience grief. There is no measure for what is appropriate grief or the time one should feel it. Do spiritual people come equipped with a grief alarm clock? Is it compassionate to go up to a grief-stricken person and say, “Your time is up. You must not feel grief now, if you want to remain in your position as a spiritual leader and be my friend.” That sounds so absurd, it’s laughable.

Some people who age have wrinkles and gray hair. Does that change who they are? No. It changes how they look externally. Is how you look externally important? For me, mostly externals are not important. But, probably if your livelihood is selling cosmetics with your looks, at some point you could change careers, or you could be proud and develop a cosmetic line for people who have wrinkles.

My mentor, Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy, otherwise known as SARK, has a wonderful saying, “Most of us live in the messy middle.” Life is messy. Emotions are messy. Circumstances get messy. Sorting out challenges can be messy. That’s part of the human condition, and since our itinerary on earth was designed by Divine, messiness must be an appropriate part of the human experience.

What Are We Really Saying?

When we judge a person’s looks or behavior, what are we really saying? You may think you are making a statement about them. What you really are doing is making an observation about you. When you say, “Can you do something about your wrinkles?” You are saying, “I feel uncomfortable with aging, and you are bringing that up for me.” When you state, “I’m not supporting your grief process. It’s gone on too long.” What you are saying is, “I’m not comfortable with grief. I’ve reached the limit of what I can feel on this one.” When you judge and criticize, you are letting yourself know where you are on your journey – what beliefs and behaviors you hold that aren’t loving yet.

The Gift of Authenticity

When someone genuinely expresses their emotions or shows you his/her messy middle, they are giving you a gift. At that point you can choose to look at what that person is showing or telling you about you or you can continue in habitual patterns. Either way, you will move on in your journey. If this experience doesn’t open you to more of you now, another will come. If not this lifetime, another lifetime will include the gift again. You will continue to be invited into the messy middle until every scrap of inauthenticity is dissolved away. Then, you will stand in all your glory, ready for the next big adventure.