Transcendent Journey

by Melody-Rose Parker

When You Can’t Accept

What Happens when You Don’t Accept What Is

Law of Attraction pretty much is mainstream these days, but most people, even after taking classes or listening to audios, still can’t apply what they’ve learned to increase their point of attraction. What I found is that there were circumstances in my life I just couldn’t accept, so I could never figure out how to put the Law of Allowing into practice in my life. Then, I judged myself as bad and wrong because I couldn’t accept. The wrongness of me created guilt, and at that point I suppressed all of the emotional energy because it felt so bad. After months of storing these toxic emotions, I’d develop illnesses in my body, which I found unacceptable and added momentum to recycling how bad I felt about the original condition. Today, I’m going to talk about how  I overcome this vicious cycle.

Do You Recognize This Cycle?

Have you ever found yourself faced with the unacceptable — the death of a loved one which you feel could have been prevented, the promotion of a co-worker who doesn’t seem able enough to be your  boss, someone stealing your original work and making big money while you are still broke? These circumstances feel awful when we judge them, and we are programmed (by culture, family, religion, politics) to continually go to the wrongness of our experience in our minds. So, we get stuck in these cyclic thoughts like rats in a trap. Then, it seems like the pain, frustration, disappointment, hurt, and grief will go on forever, because we mentally keep reliving the wrongness.

When you are stuck, the last thing you want to hear is that you should accept the unacceptable. When mentors and counselors give this guidance, it just ticks you off. Then, you just add the unjustness of their guidance on top of the original circumstances, which creates more resistance in your thinking, emotions, and energy. You might even get to the point where you  explode in anger, and this can be powerful as long as you point the anger to the pattern that created the unacceptable circumstance and not the people involved.  But, most of the time, people just criticize you for being angry.

How do I know this pattern so well? I had been doing life via this pattern, since I was a young child who was physically and emotionally abused by a mentally ill parent. So, I’ve experienced the recycling effect for decades, and after years of therapy, personal growth work, healing, counseling, and mentoring, I’m finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel because I stopped going to the wrongness every time I had an experience, which ultimately was me judging me to be wrong all of the time.

 What Allowing Really Means

 Do You Always Know What Something Means?

I’ve been using a mantra (repetitive words or sounds) for several years now, and I think this is one of the most profound teachings from Lesson 25 of  A Course in Miracles, “I don’t know what anything is for.” What repeating these words over and over has taught me is that when I am in a situation, I don’t know what its implication are in my life. If I make a judgment of “good for me” or “bad for me,” I’m comparing the present to either the past or the future and assigning a meaning which may or may not  be true. But, the one thing I know for sure is if I  mentally decide, “bad for me,” then my habitual rat trap thinking will take over, and eventually I’ll feel miserable. If I choose “good for me,” then I’ll feel good until the next situation that is “bad for me” comes up.

What if I don’t assign any meaning at all to any circumstance? This might appear to be a radical thought at first. But, let’s take a look at the reality of life for a moment. I certainly didn’t enjoy being physically beaten and screamed at when I lived with my family, but going through that trial by fire made me the woman I am today. What if I couldn’t  be the helper I am without the early abuse in my life? What if every experience I’ve ever had was necessary to bring me to this moment?

What If It Feels Like My Prayers Are Going Unanswered?

What about all those prayers for relief that didn’t  seem to be answered, when the mental, physical, emotional, financial, relationship healing I asked for seemed so far away? Did that mean that God wasn’t hearing me, that my prayers weren’t being answered?  What I’ve found over time is that most of the temper tantrums I threw about unanswered prayers occurred because I was attached to the timing of God’s response.

This is when I have to remind myself about how actualization works. I am the choice maker of my experience. Making choices and then going about life is my part of the equation. What I often forget is that the method and timing of delivery is God’s part. So, when I stay out of God’s way and stop trying to control the delivery, the matter, means, relationships, and resources will move toward me at the perfect time. Interference in this process generally creates upset for me, because I think I know who should give me things, when they should give them to me, how they should be given. But, I really don’t know what perfect answers to my prayers look like. Only God does. So, allowing every circumstance I need to experience in order for God to deliver the answer to my prayers is only common sense. I have to be willing to experience Step One in order to go to Step Two.  If I don’t want to go through the steps, all I have to do is change my mind. Without resistance or judgment, knowing I can change my mind, I can achieve  a life filled with joy, ease, elegance, and grace.

Allow that Life Happens

The ultimate teaching on allowing is, “It is what it is.” When you are in an experience, it is what it is. What if you take a deep breath and decide to allow life to happen? It’s happening anyway, with or without your approval. So, why not just become an observer of life? An experience comes up. You allow events to unfold. If in the end you like it, you say to yourself, “Wow! I like that. I would like to have other experiences that feel at least this good. How can that happen?” If the circumstances don’t appeal to you, you can say, “Tried that. Think I’ll choose something else. What’s next?” In this way life becomes a rich exploration instead of a harsh task master.

Gratitude

Without the contributions of these fellow journeyers, I may have stayed stuck much longer. I feel so very grateful for their help, love, acceptance, and allowance.

Tammy, Susan, Kathryn, Teri, Cheri, Lucy, Lesley, Debbie, Verna, Mike, Doug, and many others have made my  journey so much richer. Thank you all.